I am Sam. She is Addy. And this is our Story.
Well, we all knew the day would come, and come it has. On this very night, my wife had to leave our daughter Addalynn, or as we like to call her Addy, alone with me, her father, as she returned back to work for the very first time. Before we begin, let me hit you with a little background info so one may understand the magnitude of this evening.
Bear with me. Being the first blog, and given the story that follows, this read may be a long one.
We prepared for our first child as any couple might. Anxiously awaiting doctor's appointments, picking out names, and myself trying every wive's tale known to man to try and predict the sex of my unborn child. In doing this, one would tell me boy, and I would rejoice in the moment, only to have the next clearly indicate girl. Needless to say, I gave up hope on the ole' wives and decided to wait on the science. Addy wouldn't prove to be much help either. She would have her heart rate in the 150's one visit, and the next drop it down to the 130's, and to keep us on our toes, she would steady it out right in the middle in the 140's, always trying to mess with us. Foreshadowing of what was to come? We shall see. However, while some dwell on the fact of boy or girl, and despite the fact that no man will tell you that they are pushing for a boy no matter what they say, I always prayed that our child would be healthy and happy as "it" arrived in this world. Everything seemed to move along as scheduled. Showers were thrown, gifts were received, and I gradually begin to grasp the idea of PINK. Pink would be the color that would adorn my house for this first child as we found out we would be having a little girl.
As I accepted the fact that my first child would in fact be a girl, the pink was steadily blending with another color. GREEN. Not a pastel green or lime green that may go good with pink in the nursery or for bedding, but a darker green. A green adorned with the faces of famous world leaders and historic monuments. It was inevitable, this child would break my bank. You can't shave a girl's head. They require make-up, and accessories. Is anyone hiring? The dresses and bows multiplied daily. Grandparents, Great-Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and friends steadily bombarded us with tiny clothes and shoes. We were finally ready. We had the crib, the clothes, diapers and wipes. All we were missing was little Addy.
The due date was set as May 21, 2011, and we saw that day come and go. We walked, we lunged, we ate spicy food. Little Addy wasn't having it. My wife Kelly was set to be induced May 25, 2011, and that date quickly approached. So we packed our bags and all of Addy's essentials, strapped in the car seat, and set off to bring our baby into this world. We arrived at 5 a.m. awake and ready to take on the day. Labor was induced, and at 4:46 p.m. we witnessed the God-given miracle of life as Addalynn Daphene Hall finally graced us all with her presence at 8 lbs. 11 oz. and 22 1/2 inches long. From here, God would lift us all three into his arms, and for the next 10 days, he never let us go.
Compared to other births, Addy did not begin to scream when she was removed from the womb. Her skin tone stayed a bluish-purple, and it was obvious she was having difficulty breathing. Addy was born with fluid in her lungs that caused a severe infection. An infection we were later told that most healthy adults would not recover from as quickly as she did. We were transferred from Providence Hospital to another local hospital with a well-equipped NICU and great personnel. Addy would be placed on a ventilator within 4 hours of being born, and working in the hospital setting, her mother and I knew the severity of the situation. As I said before, we would be in the NICU for 10 days. For the sake of not typing a novel, I will be concise in stating that Addy would be taken off the ventilator after 3 days, weened from tube feedings after 4 days, and aside from daily doses of antibiotics, would resemble a healthy baby girl on day 5. After 4 days we held our child for the first time, mystified at the powerful healing hands of God, and the beauty of this life we had created. We would stay 3 days in the hospital in a "hotel-type" room, and finally, on Saturday June 4, 2011, we brought our baby home.
So, now that you have an idea of what we went through the first 2 weeks of Addy's life, we can progress.
Kelly returned to work tonight for the first time since Addy was born, leaving me and Addy ALL ALONE. I don't know who was more worried, her mother, or myself. I knew that I could take care of my child, but usually Kelly is there to take the hand-off when Addy starts to cry!! As I listened to Addy's schedule for the night laid out by Kelly, I felt as if I were cramming for a test. "Ok...feed at 4, keep up for a couple hours, feed at 8, then bath and to bed. Or wait, was it bath at 8, then feed and to bed...". The reality set in as I watched her drive away. The garage door closed slowly, then completely, leaving me alone with the child we have dubbed "The Beast".
"The Beast", a name that is totally more comical than true, as my wonderful Addy is truly a very easy baby (knocking on wood as this is written), was a joke between me and Kelly on a trip home when Addy began to wake up in the car and we realized we were still an hour out from our destination and it was feeding time. Needless to say, she became fussy, steadily more fussy, until she was hoarse from screaming. She became, "The Beast".
Things started out good tonight. I had the schedule memorized, and I was determined to make this night a success. About 15 minutes after Kelly had gone, I think Addy began to sense that her Mommy was not there. Commence screaming. Here I was, 6:30 p.m. on my first night alone with Addy, and I had already worked her into a screaming fit. So I thought to myself, she likes to be moving and looking. So the only logical thing to do, I did. The next thing I know I'm out in the heat walking, pushing a stroller adorned with lady bug and butterfly toys, gathering the stares from the neighbor as I walked by. And I walked. And I walked. And I walked. With Pandora busting out some good tunes on the Cross Canadian Ragweed channel, I thought to myself, "I will win". Here I am, a grown man, declaring to be victorious over an innocent 6 week old child. So, as I said before, I walked. At about 1 mile I looked down to see my sweet daughter's face in a slight smirk with eyes closed. However, I knew this trick. She was smirking as if to say, "Hit one bump, stop for 2 seconds, or listen to the wrong song, and I WILL wake up." So what could I do. I kept walking. At 2 miles the smirk was gone, but could she be bluffing? I continued to walk. At 3 miles I looked down, jingled her toys, and finally jumped the curb to the house. She was down for the count. I had won.
Commence bath time. Had I won?
Baths are usually fun, but not this one. I am convinced that bathing a 6 week old requires 4 hands minimum, and sometimes a foot. As I struggled to make the smiling men on the thermometer read the right water temperature, I realized I had forgotten the towel. I got the towel, and all was well. Until I heard it. I said to myself, "No way." Yes way. With abs tensed, legs stretched as far as they could reach, and a face concentrated so intensely, Addy began to take the browns to the baby bath. Therefore bath time was centered around that clean up, then bathing Addy. Again.
Score: Addy - 1 Daddy - 1.
Now it was feeding time. The bottle was ready, but was I? I cradled my beautiful Addy in my arms and she began to eat. Things were going well. About halfway through I even got a burp. Was she cooperating? We finished the bottle, Addy's eyes heavy with sleep, Daddy's heart jumping for joy. I put her to bed, tucked her in, put her binky in her mouth, and away she drifted to dream of incredible things. SUCCESS!
Overall, it wasn't too bad. When I think about the possibility that she could have left us before our lives together ever began, I tend to only see those big blue eyes staring back at me, and I block out the cries, the screams, and the squirms.
Addy is a true miracle from God. She has endured more in her short life than many ever do, and we are all stronger for it. Believe in God, ask him to heal, and he will. I'm about to hold my constant reminder of that. Addy is my daughter, she is a blessing, and this is our story.
Blessings to all.
-SH